Natalie Bratcher
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Remember to breathe...

2/19/2018

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I honestly cannot remember the last time I was on a yoga mat or practiced yoga, much less in an actual studio. My health was what originally brought me to the yoga practice, and the benefits of the practice are what led me to becoming a yoga instructor. My health is also what has prevented me from maintaining a regular practice and eventually was what led me to make the decision to stop teaching. As some of you may know, I have an autoimmune disease called Sjögren’s Syndrome. I was diagnosed as a teen, but into my adult years, it’s manifested by causing mostly neurological issues, including neuropathic facial pain (called atypical Trigeminal neuralgia), something called inappropriate sinus tachycardia and Autoimmune Autonomic Neuropathy. Basically I have a whacked out nervous system and my immune system inappropriately attacking certain nerves.

Keeping it simple, we all have a sympathetic nervous system which activates by way of a fight or flight response. This is what helps to protect us when in danger. When activated, it increases pupillary response (better to see you with), heightens reactivity to stimuli (better to hear you with), slows gut transit (no time for that when you’re on the run), among other things. Then there’s the parasympathetic nervous system whose job is to play peacekeeper, calming the system and bring everything back to normal. These two parts of the nervous system work in harmony to help the body maintain balance and homeostasis. Have you ever heard that a little stress is good? Yeah... for me, not so much. My Autonomic Nervous System gets super confused. The smallest, non-threatening stressors like heat, standing, eating too much, driving fast, multiple noises occurring at once (like 2 conversations or the TV on with the dryer running at the same time) etc. can trigger my fight or flight response and since my parasympathetic nervous system sucks and doesn’t do its job well, it leads to an uncomfortable experience (ie. blurry vision, dizziness, light headedness, anxiety, feeling like I’m going to pass out, etc).


So yeah, it’s kind of hard to teach and practice yoga when you get winded easily and feel like passing out all the time. It’s also hard to find time to practice when out of commission for a week for infusions every 4 weeks, then there’s keeping up with work, the 3+ hours a day commuting to/from work, making sure I get to multiple doctors appts, and importantly there is getting enough rest/sleep during what little down time there is left. Oh, and there’s trying to be a good partner and girlfriend through all of this. Overwhelmed, and with not enough hours in a day, I’ve been pretty intolerable lately. There simply isn’t enough time for anything, including yoga. However, lately I’ve considered reframing this... there’s not enough time to feel poorly and all the more reason to reprioritize and take care of me.

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about self care and the priorities I place on the time spent living my life. I’ve been wanting to get back into the practice and to get my body back to the level of strength I had a few years ago as I know it would help me to feel better in the long run. There’s so much data to support the physiologic benefits of meditation, breath work and exercise. So today, even though I was exhausted and wanted to come straight home after work, I made the decision to go to a studio and get back on my mat! Yay!!!

I was in pain from the very start... it’s hard to believe how difficult some of the most basic asanas feel after being out of practice for so long. I also have zero muscle mass left. In time, right!? I also couldn’t breathe... something I thought I totally had covered. Nope. I had to keep reminding myself to breathe!? And as much as I don’t like heated yoga, for a number of reasons (one being because you don’t have as much biofeedback and are at more risk for injuring yourself if you don’t have a skilled instructor... but also because heat is a huge trigger for me), I’ve recently been listening to Dr. Rhonda Patrick and have become quite interested in the concept and research behind “hyperthermic conditioning” or deliberately acclimating to heat, independent of working out. “Heat acclimation, through sauna use, (and likely any other non-aerobic activity that increases core body temperature) can promote physiological adaptations that result in increased endurance, easier acquisition of muscle mass, and a general increased capacity for stress tolerance... the positive effects of heat acclimation on the brain, include the growth of new brain cells, improvement in focus, learning and memory, and ameliorating depression and anxiety. In addition, modulation of core temperature might even be largely responsible for “runner’s high” via an interaction between the dynorphin/beta-endorphin opioid systems.” Cool, right!? So while there is some conflicting data over whether heated yoga actually increases core body temperature, perhaps acclimating to heat through yoga might lessen my Autonomic symptoms as well as my facial pain? Worth a shot, right!?

Anyway, while I thought I was going to faint and my heart rate was easily around 130 beats per minute the entire hour, I went at my own pace and made it through the entire class. I am thrilled to be back on the mat and am feeling optimistic. Whatever is holding you back, there is a way to overcome. Remember that everyone is dealing with something, so be kind to others and importantly, be kind to yourself. We’re all doing our best. Make time for those things that really matter, including loving yourself. Oh, and remember to breathe. Namaste 🙏🏻
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    I live in Chicago with my partner Tim, our 34 year old turtle Freddie, and 7 year old dog Fagan. We just lost our 21 year old cat, sweet Belle, may she rest in peace until we meet again. We live in Lincoln Park and absolutely love living in the city. We enjoy taking Fagan to the park every day, living so close to the lake and the beach, the restaurants and the food, and the energy of the city... there is just so much to love. I love my job and enjoy a full-time career as an animal welfare research scientist, a role that I worked quite hard to establish. But this is just a part of my life, and I am a big believer in a balanced life. Not long ago, I was very much a hermit... I didn't get out much beyond work, didn't have a lot to identify with... My life has really opened itself to me in the past 5 years. Finding balance and connectedness was an inside job that required time. It's amazing how much happiness, connection and balance can bring. In our free time, Tim & I enjoy working our independent business, where we have met amazing people and formed lasting friendships. That, and we're excited to building supplemental and residual income! I also love everything music - see my Music and Yoga Playlists blog for more on that- but I enjoy both playing and listening to music. I also enjoy cooking, spending time with friends and family, and staying healthy by exercising and practicing yoga. I discovered yoga only a few years ago, during that moment in my life where I was seeking balance and connection. The timing was perfect, and yoga helped me to find peace in accepting that at any moment, life is as it should be. I immediately knew I wanted to become a teacher, to share with others the experience and practice that was so profound in my own life. I completed my 200-hour teacher training in 2014 with Alyson D'Souza at Village Yoga Chicago. As a yoga teacher, I appreciate the practice from a different perspective and am grateful to be able to share it with others, seeing the profound impact it has on the lives of those who practice.

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